comes the capacity for great forgiveness.
(Yes I know this isn’t falling into the category I originally proposed, but I’m a college student studying for finals. I’d much prefer to blab right now than actually articulate my thoughts about awesome individuals–which I love doing, but later..)
Perhaps I’m over romanticizing this, but for the past couple of weeks I’ve been in some sort of strange philosophical mood where I just really believe in the goodness of people. And I have good reason.
A female friend, let’s call her “Girl” (original, huh? for simplicity’s sake, I promise..) was dating “Boy” since freshman year. They are both now sophomores. They both have all the same mutual friends and are in a tight-knit group, extremely tight-knit.
Boy would visit her room quite often, almost too often, somewhat to the annoyance of girl’s roommate. However, Boy started visiting less and less, and Girl would sleep in her own bed more and more. Girl, Boy, and Co. would spend a lot of time in the room, but never Boy and Girl alone. Then New Boy (who is a mutual friend of Boy and Girl) started spending more time in Girl’s room, much to the confusion of Girl’s roommate. Then it suddenly dawned on Roommate that Girl was dating New Boy! However, Girl, Boy, and New Boy were still all friends, best friends.
I’m annoyed that the “Girl” and “Boy” aliases ruin the poignancy (ha) of the story, but putting all that aside, it actually has a great message. Nothing can really ruin friendship if you love your friends enough. To be able to still call Girl and New Boy your best friends after having your heart broken by those very two shows me how much Boy valued those friendships enough. To wish for the happiness of your friends even after getting replaced is… incredible. My first reaction was “If I were Boy, I would not be able to stand the sight of my friends’ faces.”
But, I think Boy has the right idea. It’s actually very simple… we’re human. We fall for whoever we fall for, and sometimes that happens to be one of your other really good friends, maybe even your boyfriend’s friend. It’s not betrayal. That’s too harsh of a word.. it’s humanity. (Human-ness?) And I think Boy understands this situation better than I’ll ever be able to. As Girl and New Boy’s friend, he just wants them to be happy. Sure this is gonna sting for a while, but their friendships have all remained the same.
I guess I’m just really touched that I still see the three of them all sitting together in circle couches singing Kumbaya together. (Okay, not the Kumbaya part..) It just reminds me that nothing can get in the way of true friendship if you don’t want it to.
You go, Boy.